I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
