He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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