mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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