My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
