I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
