Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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