I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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