Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
