Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think your dad took our porno
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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