Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
