Say something about gay babies.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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