Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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