he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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