Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
