He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
