Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
