so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
