Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
