Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
