Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
