just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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