sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I could fuck to npr.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
