I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
