I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
