We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
