Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
