It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
