Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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