she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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