i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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