spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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