Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
