Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
