You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
