You're so nebulous sometimes
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
