since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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