i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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