I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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