just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
