good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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