I'm laying in your front yard are you home
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
