Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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