were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize