Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
