New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
