I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
