I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
