??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize