So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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