Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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