Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
