i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have post one night stand depression
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