I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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