some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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