why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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