worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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