dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
