If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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