I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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