Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Duck Duck Cougar?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
