i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
