How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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