She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
