would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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